Premeditated by Josin L. McQuein

Goodreads Blurb

A week ago, Dinah’s cousin Claire cut her wrists.
Five days ago, Dinah found Claire’s diary and discovered why.
Three days ago, Dinah stopped crying and came up with a plan.
Two days ago, she ditched her piercings and bleached the black dye from her hair.
Yesterday, knee socks and uniform plaid became a predator’s camouflage.
Today, she’ll find the boy who broke Claire.
By tomorrow, he’ll wish he were dead.

Ever since I read the synopsis oh-so long ago, I've been aching to read this. The short and to the point phrasing makes the synopsis absolutely chilling, dark, and unbelievably intriguing, not to mention revenge stories are always amazing! 
I'm a bit torn up around the ending, so it's still a bit hard to write this review. I'm sort of a wreck right now!

The first few pages were absolutely amazing, but I started worrying that I may not love Premeditated as much as I'd hoped. No matter how realidtic it can make a character seem, I've always hated it when characters seemed flat and obsessed with only one goal, forcing the story to go on. 

But that didn't happen--instead I just sort of fell in love with Dinah's character and her heart. Premeditated focuses on the characters more than the plot, and I can't say I didn't love that! Seeing Dinah grow from hell bent on making Brooks pay to sympathizing and reluctantly starting to like him was one of my favorite parts. I always do love some internal conflict. 

Along with character development, the story also focuses on relationships, and not just romance. I'd been rooting from the start for Brooks and Dinah (and by start I mean when I first discovered this) and I was unbelievably excited to see that my ship was happening--though it wasn't mentioned much throughout the book. Their friendship seemed to be more important, Dinah struggling to find the Brooks in Claire's diary in the person in front of her, and Brooks starting to let down his walls. 
More than that, seeing how much Dinah cared for Claire was heartbreaking and heart warming all at once. It's a touching relationship that I couldn't help but love, but made everything so much more painful. 

I honestly can't say much about the plot since it'll pretty much ruin the entire thing, but I will say that the plot twist was fairly predictable, but it made everything so much more suspenseful!

Filled with suspense and a wide range of quirky and lovable characters, Premeditated is one of the books I've been anticipating all year--that managed to not disappoint me, which is actually pretty impressive!  The relationships are gorgeous and the development throughout the story just warms your heart. The suspense in the novel is brilliant and I was just blown away by the entire story.

Pages: 336

Genre: Thriller/Contemporary

Series: Standalone

Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers

Release Date: Oct 8, 2013
Rating: 4 stars

Crash Into You by Katie McGarry

Goodreads Blurb

The girl with straight As, designer clothes and the perfect life-that's who people expect Rachel Young to be. So the private-school junior keeps secrets from her wealthy parents and overbearing brothers...and she's just added two more to the list. One involves racing strangers down dark country roads in her Mustang GT. The other? Seventeen-year-old Isaiah Walker-a guy she has no business even talking to. But when the foster kid with the tattoos and intense gray eyes comes to her rescue, she can't get him out of her mind. 
Isaiah has secrets, too. About where he lives, and how he really feels about Rachel. The last thing he needs is to get tangled up with a rich girl who wants to slum it on the south side for kicks-no matter how angelic she might look. 
But when their shared love of street racing puts both their lives in jeopardy, they have six weeks to come up with a way out. Six weeks to discover just how far they'll go to save each other.

I was a little bit wary jumping into Crash Into You. Of course I loved Pushing the Limits--I just wasn't the biggest fan of Dare You To. But then I realized I just didn't like it, mainly because I hated Beth for both being bitchy to Echo and hurting Isaiah.

ISAIAH!

I have now decided to start my review with Isaiah. Because he is, quite honestly, my favorite of all the guys in this series. I honestly don't think anyone pulls off that tough-but-secretly-sweet persona as wonderfully as Isaiah because he's just so...absolutely...broken. I've been in love with him since PTL, and after we see him over and over, even more hurt and destroyed than before...it practically killed me. And then I sort of fell in love with him even more throughout this book. How was that even possible?

And Rachel. Rachel! I loved that girl! She made my heart hurt, guys. She tried to be the perfect daughter for her family, she tried to remodel herself after her dead sister for her mom who wants her to be Colleen's replacement, but she was practically smothering herself, trying to be someone who was her opposite. And it hurt that it seemed like everyone in her family just encouraged her to keep a smile on her mom's face, damn the consequences. I can't even imagine how that would feel.
But she was still sweet. And she was strong in a different sort of way. She was perfect for Isaiah and I just loved how they acted around each other.

Yes, the romance was insta lovey. But it worked! Their chemistry was a steady burn that was enchanting and the way they balanced each out was wonderful. Rachel pulled Isaiah from the brink and Isaiah helped Rachel be herself--it was beautiful and their relationship just seemed so heartfelt that I couldn't help but adore.

But the best thing about this book was that it wasn't purely a romance. There was a thrilling feel to it as they raced against a clock to pay back a certain not-so-friendly friend. I didn't really know how it'd play out, but I definitely wasn't expecting the end! (I think I almost died at the end). Also, Katie McGarry is either a genius with cars or she did some hardcore research. Or I'm just an idiot when if comes to cars.

And all our characters are back! Our wily old counselor, Noah, Echo, Beth, Ryan, Logan (and he plays a rather large role too.) all made an appearance and I couldn't help but love it. I may have warmed up to Beth too, which is sort of surprising.
New characters are introduced too though, and I think Abby is my abortive secondary character ever. Do we get a spin off on her too? She's sarcastic and surprisingly kind, despite her tough shell, which I guess isn't surprised since she grew up in an environment possibly worse than Isaiah. But you can't help but love her--pretty much like everything else in the book!

Crash Into You was an enthralling read that I managed to finish in a day! It didn't disappoint and it's definitely my favorite of all the books. So all I can say? Read it. 

Pages: 474

Genre: Contemporary

Series: Pushing the Limits #3

Publisher: Harlequin Teen

Release Date: Nov 26, 2013

Rating: 4 stars

The Program by Suzanne Young

Goodreads Blurb

In Sloane’s world, true feelings are forbidden, teen suicide is an epidemic, and the only solution is The Program.
Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.
Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

Oh. My. Freaking. God. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. Oh my God. You guys. WHY ARE YOU HERE. LEAVE ME TO MOURN IN PEACE.
Oh. Right.
I have to write a review.
I am in an emotional crisis here, but I'll see what I can whip up. It's nowhere near the amazingness of this book though.

So I just have to point out that I was already tearing up in the first place. Young has a way of writing a beautiful yet completely horrible atmosphere and having us connect to some characters immediately--all the better for when she rips them away from us.  Oh God the feels guys! I can not tell you how absolutely heartbreaking and...and...ugh!

This world was so hopeless too. I was in the depths of despair at times and felt on top of the world at others. I can believe how the US would call suicide an epidemic, but I find it a bit stupid that they never realized that having their friends taken and returned as a blank state was what drove them to depression and that the government never decided to "research" this so called disease. So I guess it was a bit weak, but The Program and how it operated was truly...unbelievable. A third of our book is in The Program (YES, Sloane ends up in The Program!) and it was horrifying watching Sloane's memories slowly slip away...just one by one--and she never noticed.

The plot was the absolute best. We get a few flashbacks and in Sloane's "therapy sessions" she talks about such sweet memories--so when they repeat, it just..Breaks. Your. Heart. I'm not even kidding. I practically died in the last part of The Program.
I think the best about the plot was that we got to see it from before, during, and after The Program--it made everything so much better since there wasn't a typical "Where and who am I?" type of dystopian.
That's not to say there weren't twists though. Because there absolutely were and they absolutely killed me. Every. Damn. Time. Sometimes I was expecting something...but it still gutted me whenever it actually did happen.

And the romance. Oh my God. Too adorable. Too adorable. There was a small love triangle, but it's obvious who Sloane was going to pick--but it added a lot to the story, and I did love our other guy anyways. But James was the absolute best--he tried to always be there for her, but he was also a sarcastic jerk, but unbelievably sweet too. He was so...perfect for Sloane. And their love was just...ugh. THE FEELS. I absolutely adored the romance and how they were never really separated--talk about Romeo and Juliet!

The Program is an absolute to die for dystopian that basically pierced my heart with every sentence. I was completely shell shocked and completely heartbroken. This book actually gave me my first real book hangover and I couldn't read anything at all for 3 days after! (Well, I did, but it all paled in comparison...so forgive me, you poor books.) This is an absolutely, positively must read. Seriously. I will haunt y'all until you read it.

I will be here for you when you sink into despair at the end.

BECAUSE HOLY CRAP, THE END.

Pages: 408
Genre: Dystopian
Series: The Program #1
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Release Date: April 30, 2013
Rating: TEN FREAKING STARS FOREVER

The Dollhouse Asylum by Mary Gray

Goodreads Blurb

A virus that had once been contained has returned, and soon no place will be left untouched by its destruction. But when Cheyenne wakes up in Elysian Fields--a subdivision cut off from the world and its monster-creating virus--she is thrilled to have a chance at survival.
At first, Elysian Fields,with its beautiful houses and manicured lawns, is perfect. Teo Richardson, the older man who stole Cheyenne's heart, built it so they could be together. But when Teo tells Cheyenne there are tests that she and seven other couples must pass to be worthy of salvation, Cheyenne begins to question the perfection of his world.
The people they were before are gone. Cheyenne is now "Persephone," and each couple has been re-named to reflect the most tragic romances ever told. Everyone is fighting to pass the test, to remain in Elysian Fields. Teo dresses them up, tells them when to move and how to act, and in order to pass the test, they must play along.
If they play it right, then they'll be safe.
But if they play it wrong, they'll die.

Woah, guys, woah. I'm definitely impressed with The Dollhouse Asylum and my mind is kind of blown.

The Dollhouse Asylum got off to a pretty rocky start because Cheyenne just irritated me so much. She created all these excuses for Teo when everyone kept telling her, warning her, about him. She was so lovesick and naive I wanted to slap her out of her love induced stupor, but I have to hand it to Mary Gray--she sure knew how to write a character infatuated. Thankfully Cheyenne wised up pretty early on though. She drove the story on and was clever enough to dissuade Teo from...well you'll see. She grew on me as a character, though she was still moldable and pretty easily distracted.

Teo was definitely my favorite character, as psycho as he is. He's a complex character with layers upon layers, and it was fascinating watching him come undone. He loved in a sick and creepy way, but he didn't know any different. He did what he did for Cheyenne and it was a sort of a twisted sweetness. And in the end...well he broke my heart and I sort of cried for him. In the end, he just wanted to love and be loved by Cheyenne, build a perfect world for her--with his own dark desires mixed in.

I didn't really understand Cleo's part in all this though. Her personality, the "slut" of the story, didn't really drive the plot on in any way, except to be that typical mean girl with the gorgeous face. She made Cheyenne jealous when she flirted with Marc...but that was about it.
And speaking of Marc, the romance between him and Cheyenne was a bit ridiculous and I feel like the story would've been so much better if they'd stayed friends without the underdeveloped chemistry between them.

But the plot was...wow. My favorite part of the entire book, it was unexpected, shocking, and wonderfully horrible. The story just hooks you in and traps you in it's web of deaths, realizations, and revelations. It was fast paced and didn't let you breathe at all until the book finished and, like I said, I sort of teared up at the end. Stop looking at me like that! I honestly didn't expect it at all and it hurts every time I think about it.

While a bit awkward in the beginning, The Dollhouse Asylum gets better and better until it's full-blown amazing and a book I have to recommend for fans of psychological thrillers, dystopians, and basically anything that'll break your brain. It's one you should definitely read and one I can't stop recommending!

Pages: 296

Genre: Contemporary/Romance

Series: Standalone

Publisher: Spencer Hill Press

Release Date: Oct 22, 2013

Rating: 4 stars

This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

Goodreads Blurb

Making friends has never been Elise Dembowski’s strong suit. All throughout her life, she’s been the butt of every joke and the outsider in every conversation. When a final attempt at popularity fails, Elise nearly gives up. Then she stumbles upon a warehouse party where she meets Vicky, a girl in a band who accepts her; Char, a cute, yet mysterious disc jockey; Pippa, a carefree spirit from England; and most importantly, a love for DJing.

Honestly, going into this, I wasn't really sure I would love this. Yes, it sounded awesome and yes, it sounded like my kind of book. But I was in a giant book slump at the time and wasn't particularly loving anything I'd read. So of course This Song Will Save Your Life managed to break that funk!

The first chapter absolutely broke my heart and I swear there was something in my throat. Not only because I couldn't help but hurt for Elise, but also because...well. There's a scene in which Elise joins a group of friends for lunch and they...well they have all these inside stories, inside jokes and don't really bother to clue Elise in. And at the end of lunch? They do an inside thing and Elise, clueless, ends up being the one that picks up the trash. Literally. And honestly? This can almost perfectly reflect last year--and I was one of those friends. One of those that neglected this girl who sat with us at lunch. (I don't think she was bullied, but I know she was avoided because...well, she was obnoxious and started rumors about herself. I'm not trying to justify myself, but now...I think she just wanted attention. Just. Like. Elise.)

So I can pretty much vouch that the voice in this story is real. Everything that happens? I'm sure it's been played out somewhere. It's heartbreaking, but something that you can't help but relate to.
Because you can relate to the story, or at least Elise. She's alone, she doesn't belong, and she feels outcasted, lost. And I'm sure everyone's felt that way one time or another. I have a core group of friends--but there are so many times when I felt like Elise, like no one understood me and never would. And I'll admit I've thought about suicide once in a while. And now...I'm getting personal. So on with the review!

It was easy to feel for her and easy to understand where she came from. I may not be playing her role in the story of my school, but I can't help but hurt for her and cry for her. She's such a real character and one that just hits close to home. She's annoying at times, you can't help but love her other times, and sometimes it's just a mix of both. And that's the beauty of her. She's so flawed and I'm almost a hundred percent sure that there's a bit of her in everyone.

And we got to see her grow as a character, as a person. We see her on her new adventure, her new life. It's uplifting and, once in a while, hilarious. We meet the people who help her along the way, and the ones who'll try to tear her down. And in the end, we get an ending that's just...perfect.

This Song Will Save Your Life is an absolute must read for anyone and everyone. Even if it doesn't sound like your book--you have to read it. Somehow Leila Sales manages to reach into you and twist your heart. It's just...one of those books everyone has to read.

Pages: 288

Genre: Contemporary

Series: Standalone

Publisher: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux

Release Date: Sep 17, 2013

Rating: 10/5 stars

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Goodreads Blurb

Cath is a Simon Snow fan.
Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan . . .
But for Cath, being a fan is her life — and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving.
Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.
Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to.
Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words . . . And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone.
For Cath, the question is: Can she do this?
Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories?
And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

In all honesty, Fangirl didn't sound like my kind of book. But after reading Eleanor and Park, of course I had to give it a try. I mean, with all the feels I had then...well Fangirl was bound to give those feels too right?

Yes. Yes it was.

Cath was such a real and complicated character. She's, quite possibly, the most relatable character I've read in quite a while. Cath's one of the ultimate fangirls, something we book nerds can definitely relate to. But it's not just that. She, like so many other characters, is trying to find who she is without her sister, her twin. She's trying to figure out her life and watching her grow as a character was so heartwarming. She dealt with familial issues, romantic issues, academic issues, but throughout it all she tried to keep her head up and her shoulders back. She made her mistakes and she tried to fix them without losing herself, something that was way harder than she expected. And she was awkward so many times. She was (as we bloggers so often say) a brilliantly flawed character.

And then. There were our other characters. They were all so well written and so...well I'm going to use that word again. They were so real. And seeing how they helped Cath along their way, how they each showed her different things, it was, well, enlightening. And it was so realistically written and so well done, I couldn't help but fall in love with their story.

Levi was by far my favorite character (I think I love him more than Cass actually!) He was so adorable and so sweet. He made me want to strangle him when he made some...not so smart decisions, but he always redeemed himself in the end. I couldn't help but fall in love with this sweet, unbelievably flawed boy who's lanky and tall and goes out of his way to make everyone, from babies to the elderly, feel special. He's officially made it to my list of Top Ten YA Boyfriends. And my friend, that's something very hard to accomplish.

There's something about the way Rowell writes her stories. They have a simple concept, but the way she writes them makes the story flourish into something that's hilarious and heartbreaking in a way that can only be described as subtly sad. The writing is beautiful and gorgeous and so Rowell.

To sum up the review in one sentence? I fangirled over Fangirl. It's enthralling and it's so raw and it shows how we fanatics are! It's sweet and hilarious, yet heartbreaking at the same time. While it's not a perfect book, the flaws make it as amazing as it's characters and it's a book that you can't stop from falling in love with. It's stunning and endearing and something I absolutely must recommend!

FANGIRL WITH ME.

Pages: 405

Genre: Contemporary/NA

Series: Standalone

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Release Date: Sep 10, 2013

Rating: 5 stars

Deception by C.J. Redwine

Goodreads Blurb
Baalboden has been ravaged. The brutal Commander's whereabouts are unknown. And Rachel, grief stricken over her father's death, needs Logan more than ever. With their ragged group of survivors struggling to forge a future, it's up to Logan to become the leader they need—with Rachel by his side. Under constant threat from rival Carrington's army, who is after the device that controls the Cursed One, the group decides to abandon the ruins of their home and take their chances in the Wasteland.


But soon their problems intensify tenfold: someone—possibly inside their ranks—is sabotaging the survivors, picking them off one by one. The chaos and uncertainty of each day puts unbearable strain on Rachel and Logan, and it isn't long before they feel their love splintering. Even worse, as it becomes clear that the Commander will stop at nothing to destroy them, the band of survivors begins to question whether the price of freedom may be too great—and whether, hunted by their enemies and the murderous traitor in their midst, they can make it out of the Wasteland alive. 
In this daring sequel to Defiance, with the world they once loved forever destroyed, Rachel and Logan must decide between a life on the run and standing their ground to fight.

Defiance wasn't my favorite book last year, but oh my God this sequel. It absolutely blew my mind and I was breathless the entire time, my heart pounding.

I absolutely, most definitely have to mention the atmosphere of the book. Redwine perfectly captures that feeling of desperation and despair in this world and in our characters. It's stunning how much feeling she could capture in a few subtle word choices and I loved how absolutely heartbreaking the atmosphere fear was, in that morbid way we readers have.

I loved our characters. They were both absolutely badass, but in completely different ways. Rachel was more impulsive and risky, wanting vengeance more than anything, and desperate enough to sacrifice almost anything to get it. She's a character you have to sympathize and it just broke my heart, seeing how torn up she was. Her stubborness and recklessnes sometimes made me want to hit her, but it's one of her many flaws, and made her an even more brilliant character.
Logan is as quick witted and smart as before, but he's now in charge of about 200 people, and you can see it's toll. He's loyal, fair, and almost always knows exactly what to do and what the rational decision is. He brings reason to the table and tries to see the best in others, which goodness knows their group needs.

The plot was just...no. Several things just broke my heart in two and I teared up a lot. Let's just say that C.J. Redwine has no qualms of killing off some of our favorite characters. Or killing our inner fangirls.
Deception is filled with action and twists with murderers and traitors mixed in. While I didn't see the major twist, it was obvious after the first half who the killer was...but I couldn't help but hurt a little when I realized I was right.

Guys, I'm still unsure whether this is more of a fantasy or a dystopian, so I shall call it fantopian. It was great seeing more of how the city-states were and pure fun seeing little bits of our world scattered in the ruins. The author has a talent for the worldbuilding, mixing science with that fantastical feeling!

The romance, or more like Logan and Rachel's relationship, played a giant role in the book. They depend on each other--they're all they have left and every time one of them got hurt, my heart was in my throat, wondering how the other would react. They trusted each other and it was absolutely beautiful how much they loved each other.

An absolutely heart capturing sequel, Deception is an absolutely breathtaking follow up to Defiance. Action packed and threaded with a desperate atmosphere, this book takes you on a wild ride, thrusting you in a world of survival and false hopes.

Pages: 460

Genre: Fantasy/Dystopian

Series: Defiance #2

Publisher: Balzer + Bray

Release Date: Aug 27, 2013

Rating: 5 stars

Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith

Goodreads Blurb

Things you earnestly believe will happen while your parents are away:

1. You will remember to water the azaleas.

2. You will take detailed, accurate messages.

3. You will call your older brother, Denny, if even the slightest thing goes wrong.

4. You and your best friend/bandmate Lukas will win Battle of the Bands.

5. Amid the thrill of victory, Lukas will finally realize you are the girl of his dreams.

Things that actually happen:

1. A stranger calls who says he knew your sister.

2. He says he has her stuff.

3. What stuff? Her stuff.

4. You tell him your parents won’t be able to—

5. Sukey died five years ago; can’t he—

6. You pick up a pen.

7. You scribble down the address.

8. You get on your bike and go.

9. Things . . . get a little crazy after that.*

*also, you fall in love, but not with Lukas.

Both exhilarating and wrenching, Hilary T. Smith’s debut novel captures the messy glory of being alive, as seventeen-year-old Kiri Byrd discovers love, loss, chaos, and murder woven into a summer of music, madness, piercing heartbreak, and intoxicating joy.

Wild Awake was a...memorable book. It was interesting and I'm not quite sure how to write this review! I had a ton of mixed feelings about it and this book was like a roller coaster--wait. Isn't that how you describe a relationship? But it's an apt description. I would adore it one moment, hate it another, find it disgusting, go back to loving it, then starting to cry. It was weird, and I don't think I've ever felt this many emotions in a book before!

This story deals with a lot of issues and has that gritty feel to it. Kiri is all but abandoned, her sister dead, her dream boyfriend not interested, her brother estranged, and her parents leaving her alone for six whole weeks. There's a sense of loneliness around our character and she was far from perfect--she was flawed and had scars all over (in the metaphorical sense), but she was real and she was hurt. While I enjoyed her sarcasm and her own way of understanding heartbreaking and sorrowful things, she did get annoying whenever she gave up and drank, or did drugs, or anything like that. She was horrible as a person and I hated what she did a lot of times. She was pathetic at times, but other times, she was so...understanding and almost sweet.

I loved the romance in the book. In a lot of ways it reminded me of What Happens Next--so perfectly imperfect and so bittersweet. Kiri and Skunk both had their issues and they were both in desperate need of one another. And I found it so perfect how it was Kiri's dead sister who brought them together in a way. Almost like she was looking after Kiri even then, which is really just me being all Happy-Ever-After, but I'll stick with it.

But as much as it was great and amazing, it was horrible too. What couple, who lost one of their daughters, would let their only other daughter stay home alone for 6 weeks? What girl would visit a virtual stranger at near midnight? There were so many stupid decisions in this, but it was riveting at the same time. There was a lot of drinking and drugs and partying going on that made me want to smack my head--a lot of times, Kiri ended up being stoned in important scenes. The ending was just so awkward and I honestly didn't get it and I felt like there were a ton of questions left unanswered and there were so many abrupt scenes that just ended.

Wild Awake is a gritty book that made my heart race and mouth drop open in shock. But it was also one that made me want to hit something and just shake my head in pity. Wild Awake was unbelievable, in one word. Good or bad, I can't say. Though I'm almost 75% sure it's good.

Pages: 400
Genre: Mature/Contemporary
Series: Stand alone
Publisher: Katherine Tegen Books
Release Date: May 28, 2013
Rating: UNKOWN

Severed Heads, Broken Hearts by Robyn Schneider

Goodreads Blurb

Golden boy Ezra Faulkner believes everyone has a tragedy waiting for them—a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen. His particular tragedy waited until he was primed to lose it all: in one spectacular night, a reckless driver shatters Ezra’s knee, his athletic career, and his social life.

No longer a front-runner for Homecoming King, Ezra finds himself at the table of misfits, where he encounters new girl Cassidy Thorpe. Cassidy is unlike anyone Ezra’s ever met, achingly effortless, fiercely intelligent, and determined to bring Ezra along on her endless adventures.

But as Ezra dives into his new studies, new friendships, and new love, he learns that some people, like books, are easy to misread. And now he must consider: if one’s singular tragedy has already hit and everything after it has mattered quite a bit, what happens when more misfortune strikes? 

***THE TITLE HAS BEEN CHANGED TO THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING AND THE COVER HAS CHANGED AS WELL.***

Oh my gosh. I have absolutely no words for this. Like, none. At all.

...

Okay, so maybe I have many a few words. 

"I still think that everyone’s life, no matter how unremarkable, has a singular tragic encounter after which everything that really matters will happen."

I absolutely adored The Beginning of Everything (though I did love it's old title so much more). I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I started reading, but it certainly wasn't this. There were a lot of tragedies that we faced in this novel and this book hurt. Not in the way that makes me sob, or the one that makes me feel like I just got stabbed. The words just flowed under my skin and it was a dull ache, the kind that hangs in the back of your mind. There's a lot of philosophical thought in this and I could instantly relate to the sayings. It shows how each event can all be traced to a turning point, how everyone ends up linked in one way or another, and how different the world can look when you just change your perspective. 

"That moment is the catalyst—the first step in the equation. But knowing the first step will get you nowhere—it’s what comes after that determines the result."

The story itself was beyond beautiful too. And yet, so incredibly tragic! I did expect part of the big twist--but the other? It completely broke my heart. I didn't expect it at all and it...oh my gosh. Cassidy...I couldn't blame her for much really. As much as I sometimes wanted to shake her, she had good reasons, undeniably sad ones, but still reasons. I adored Cassidy though. She had a lot on her shoulders, and she bore it, until she just couldn't. But she was a quirky, fun type of girl who had that sarcastic wit we love. At the same time, though, she understood things that people usually don't. She was a complex character who was just perfect. Or, perfectly flawed, rather. 

Ezra was a flawed character too, in a different way. He had a habit of running away, something I don't think he really noticed until it was pointed out. But he had a snarky attitude that matched Cassidy's perfectly, and I loved that!

"I leaned over and placed the crown of flowers onto her head, letting my hands linger in her hair just a moment more than was necessary."

The romance was so sweet and so deep. You could immediately tell the difference between their slow burn compared to the quick flare of high school romances. But theirs was, from the start, a tragedy. It was a heartfelt kind of love and one that made me smile at every scene. It was clear they understood each other on a different level. Things were real with these two and you just hoped that it would work itself out! 

"We move through each other’s lives like ghosts, leaving behind haunting memories of people who never existed."

Here are two things I agree with regarding the book-

1) This story truly is about the Beginning of Everything. Can't elaborate on that without spoilers though!

And

2) There've been comparisons of this book to John Green's book--and I can agree with that in full confidence. The Beginning of Everything was sad and comical, touching and funny, and all around stunning. Fans of his will definitely love this book. Because, in the end, it's a book about loss and how to deal with it.

P.s. My only complaint was that what the epilogue hinted at was a bit far fetched to me and I didn't like it. Also, the beginning was a tad slow.

P.p.s. Sorry if you had to suffer through all the philosophical stuff. But, I had to. The only way to write a review of a book like that is to write a review like this.  

Pages: 368
Genre: Contemporary
Series: Standalone
Publisher: Katherine Tegen
Release Date: August 27, 2013
Rating: 5 stars

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

Goodreads Blurb

"Bono met his wife in high school," Park says.
"So did Jerry Lee Lewis," Eleanor answers.
"I’m not kidding," he says.
"You should be," she says, "we’re sixteen."
"What about Romeo and Juliet?"
"Shallow, confused, then dead."
''I love you," Park says.
"Wherefore art thou," Eleanor answers.
"I’m not kidding," he says.
"You should be."
Set over the course of one school year in 1986, ELEANOR AND PARK is the story of two star-crossed misfits – smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try. When Eleanor meets Park, you’ll remember your own first love – and just how hard it pulled you under.

This was such an interesting book, but it's definitely hard to write a review since I didn't really feel that strongly about it! Just a warning.

It's definitely different, but, I have to admit, it took me 3 times as long to finish this book than usual. It was a bit slow and took some time to get used to but as you continue to read, the more...invested, for lack of better words, you get. Suddenly you care about the characters and this kind of anticipation sets in where you know the shit will hit the fan (excuse the language), but you're still holding on to some small little hope that it won't and that the book will have a Happy Ever Ever Ever After (I did indeed feel the need to include two extra Evers.)

Since I was born near (No, I'm not giving the exact year) 2000, I couldn't really relate to all the bands mentioned nor am I a comic book fan, so I couldn't relate to that either. I'm guessing, though, that older readers will definitely love it and point out their favorite bands to their friends--hey, it's what I would do! Set in the 80's, it was a bit hard for me to relate to and there were a few things that may have perplexed me...*cough*

I did love the characters, especially Eleanor with her dry humor and witty comments! She made me laugh out loud so many times! and Park was definitely a complex character, but honestly? I couldn't really relate to either of them and they seemed so...different.
Also, I want to point out that even though my mom's Chinese, her English is bad, but not AS bad as Park's mom (Korean, Chinese, Asian.). Though it is close! So I definitely have to commend Rainbow for at least putting some dialect in there!

The romance is definitely something I have to comment on. It was so bittersweet and so adorable I just wanted to hug the two. I don't think YA has ever painted a more real of firsts: First kiss, first feeling, first love and the hardships that come with it. It's possibly the most realistic romance I've seen and in YA...well, it's hard. Don't get me wrong! I love the romances in other books (God knows I have hundred-tweet-wars over some of the guys in YA), but this is possibly the one real relationship, if that makes any sense!

I loved the issues that this book dealed with too. Okay, let me rephrase that: I love how...well, let's just say, it's the same deal with the romance. It's possibly the most real and most heartbreaking kind of family I've read about in a while and it made me want to gather up the broken pieces of this family and glue them together, even if I couldn't really relate. I don't think I can describe it better than that.

The thing about this book is that it doesn't really make a big impact, but it does leave an impression on the reader when you're finished. The ending was...wow. It's not something that usually happens in YA literature, I'll say that! And the ending definitely makes you tear up, just a little. It was such a bittersweet moment...but, oh! I can't say much, can I? You'll just have to read this yourself! I definitely recommend this for anyone who loves contemporaries and anyone who adores those sweet little romances, and someone who maybe wants something...different.

Also, awesome name Rainbow. Awesome name.

Pages: 320
Genre: Contemporary/Realistic
Series: Stand alone
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release Date: Feb. 26, 2013
Rating: 3.5--->4 stars

How to Lead a Life of Crime by Kirsten Miller

Goodreads Blurb

A meth dealer. A prostitute. A serial killer.
Anywhere else, they’d be vermin. At the Mandel Academy, they’re called prodigies. The most exclusive school in New York City has been training young criminals for over a century. Only the most ruthless students are allowed to graduate. The rest disappear.
Flick, a teenage pickpocket, has risen to the top of his class. But then Mandel recruits a fierce new competitor who also happens to be Flick’s old flame. They’ve been told only one of them will make it out of the Mandel Academy. Will they find a way to save each other—or will the school destroy them both?

How to Lead a Life of Crime surprised me. In all honesty, I was anxious to read this, but I definitely didn't expect anything so conniving!
This book was...wow. A bit of romance, a bit of acting, a bit of betrayal, a bit of sacrifice, a bit of lying, a bit of stealing...well, a bit of everything really! Even a little scientific theory that this entire plot is based on.


There's really no good place to start this review. But let's start with the originality of How to Lead a Life of Crime, because I love its idea. The way Miller pulled this idea off was stunning and original with an engaging plot that captivates you from the first theft. There's a lack of original plots in the YA market, so the fact that I haven't read anything like this is definitely a shock in itself!

Because of the unique idea, the plot ultimately had me twisted in knots. I couldn't predict anything, and these characters' actions were so unpredictable and cold. My heart was beating furiously and if a fire was burning down my house, I don't think I'd really notice; I'd be too busy trying to figure everything out! There were so many complexities, and no question was left unanswered. There was a cause and affect for everything that happened and nothing happened for no reason: that's what happens when you deal with socio/psychopaths.

The characters...I can't even describe how manipulative, cruel, and calculating they were. Miller created the perfect criminals and they were terrifying. They made you realize just how deceiving and cruel criminals could be, and how some criminals may just be pretending to be as cold. The characters weren't lovable, but they were amazing and seemed real, albeit a bit intimidating. Flick, our narrator who had a great, compelling voice, was smart and sneaky, but not necessarily cruel—just desperate, in the way that a lot of people are capable of. He brought a lot of dry humor into the story and was a strong believer in sarcasm which made me smirk, despite of whatever situation he was currently in. However, Joi was by far my favorite character. Her abilities were shocking, to say the least. She could see what Flick couldn't and knew what was wrong and what was right and, unlike many other characters, acted on those instincts.

What was beyond different with How to Lead a Life of Crime was that enemies were allies, allies were enemies, and you never knew whether a friend was a real one or one who'd stab you straight in the back. It was a game of cat and mouse, but you never knew who was in what role. And, while fictional (for all we know!), there's something about this book that just makes you realize just how evil the world can be and how the people we look up to, how almost everyone, has a secret they're willing to kill for. 


Pages: 358
Genre: Thriller/Action
Series: Stand alone
Publisher: Razorbill
Release: Feb. 21, 2013
Rating: 5 stars

Uses for Boys by Erica Lorraine Scheidt

Goodreads Blurb

Anna remembers a time before boys, when she was little and everything made sense. When she and her mom were a family, just the two of them against the world. But now her mom is gone most of the time, chasing the next marriage, bringing home the next stepfather. Anna is left on her own—until she discovers that she can make boys her family. From Desmond to Joey, Todd to Sam, Anna learns that if you give boys what they want, you can get what you need. But the price is high—the other kids make fun of her; the girls call her a slut. Anna's new friend, Toy, seems to have found a way around the loneliness, but Toy has her own secrets that even Anna can't know.
Then comes Sam. When Anna actually meets a boy who is more than just useful, whose family eats dinner together, laughs, and tells stories, the truth about love becomes clear. And she finally learns how it feels to have something to lose—and something to offer. 

I went into this having no expectations whatsoever, so imagine my shock when it turned out to be an amazing novel that I ended up loving!

My only complaint was that this...was...graphic. Incredibly so at times. And for a YA book...that was just, a bit too much. Other than that, I don't really have any other negative feelings besides that at times it was slow.

In the beginning, you see how Anna was slowly broken down, without even knowing it. She didn't know what was different, what was wrong, not consciously at least. She was...a complicated character that while I couldn't really connect with her, I could understand her. And she really...she really was broken and she couldn't see it. It just...hurt in a way that can't be explained, but I sympathized with her, deeply so. She wasn't solving her problems in any way by doing what she did, and honestly that was a little annoying, but it was her way to cope. She just didn't learn any different.

The writing in this was completely beautiful and it was just stunning. The way this story unfolds is definitely like poetry (but no, it's not in those weird literal poetry form paragraphs!) and I just fell in love with the story. It was emotional in a way that it doesn't make you cry, but it makes you think about your place in your family and in society itself.

Sam, honestly, wasn't very important until 5/6 into the book, near the end. So what we read is really Anna's path towards the person she's wanted to be and the family she's always wanted. Sam was just there to push her on her way, and that wasn't necessary till the end. So no, this isn't really a love story at all, is it?

Honestly, if you're looking for a light fluff, this seriously isn't the book for you. This is a brutally honest book that will make you not only look at the world differently, but yourself. I think I'd recommend this for fans of 13 Reasons Why and even for those who didn't really love it (like I did...)

Pages: 240

Genre: Contemporary/Mature YA

Series: Stand alone

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Release Date: January 15, 2013

Rating: 3.5-->4 stars

The Storyteller by Antonia Michaelis

Goodreads Blurb

A good girl.
A bad boy.
A fairy tale that's true.
A truth that is no fairy tale.
It begins the day Anna finds the child's doll on the floor of the student lounge. When it's claimed by Abel, the school drug dealer, Anna becomes determined to learn more about this mysterious boy with the military haircut and deep blue eyes. She follows him after school and discovers a secret: Abel is caring for his six-year-old sister, Micha, alone. Anna listens in as he tells her a fairy tale, the story of a little orphan queen pursued by hunters across the oceans for the treasure she carries: her pure, diamond heart. 
It's a story with parallels to reality. Social services and Micha's abusive father could take her from Abel if they discover the truth.
Despite friend's warnings, Anna is drawn to Abel and Micha, and falls under the spell of the story of the little queen and her desperate voyage.
But when people Abel has woven into his tale turns up dead, it's Anna whose heart is in danger. Is she in love with a killer? And has she set out on a journey from which there is no return?

I absolutely hated it, 100% hate.
I hated hated hated...
That I cried so much.

This book was absolutely spectacular, though a bit confusing at first. The writing was gorgeous and lyrical, poetic and beautiful, but there was a complexity to it that, if you couldn't figure it out, led to a lot of hard thinking about what this meant, who that was, etc. and honestly, it was sometimes hard to know until the straight-out tell! But it did create an atmosphere that added to the story--both the story and the fairy tale.

Honestly, while I did love the actual story, I found that the fairy tale actually captivated me more--just a tad! But I've always loved fantasy stories where nothing makes sense. But I was just as eager as Anna and Micha to find out what would happen next! Because this story was just what happened, what's happening, and what happens, in a more innocent and magical way.

Beyond anything, even how beautiful and touching the writing was, was how absolutely real the characters were. They were so...broken. All of them had their problems, even Anna who seemed to have a perfect life. There wasn't a mean girl, necessarily, who was a jealous (insert word), and there was no real evil person. It was just...life. How we decide who's our antagonist is really up to us and this book does accent that. (Ironically, I'm doing a presentation for Teen Leadership called "There is no Reality, Only Perception.") and I felt just sick how some people could seem so...kind and then have something ugly beneath. And this isn't just one character. I think this is, by far, the most accurate description of the world translated into a book. And I've read a lot of tries.

This book was absolutely touching and insanely emotional. I was almost SOBBING in math and that's not comfortable with people giving you strange looks and muttering "There she goes again", but the ending...Oh my GOD that ending. I think I melted into a puddle of tears. I couldn't...couldn't understand it, couldn't fathom it. I was just...shocked. Or maybe, like Anna, not shocked at all. This book didn't really have one conflict either, it was just...life as it sometimes is. I don't think there's ever going to really be another book that can beat it--it surpasses The Fault in Our Stars! (And I'd say 13 Reasons Why, but I never liked it anyways.)

Should you read it? Absolutely. Will you cry? Almost certainly. Will you wish you never read it, just so you could experience it over again? Without a Doubt. And will you love it? Of Course. Will you thank me later? OH, YOU BETTER. Because this WILL become one of your favorite books, and I can guarantee that you won't forget this. This is one that will leave it's own imprint on your heart--after it tears it up, glues, and breaks it again and again.

(Only reason it's not 10, though, was because of how depressed I felt afterwards. Not that it's necessarily bad...also, I just didn't see the romance. And Bertil creepeed me out)

Pages: 402
Genre: Contemporary
Series: Standalone
Publisher: ABRAMS
Release Date: Jan 1, 2012
Rating: 7 stars