Premeditated by Josin L. McQuein

Goodreads Blurb

A week ago, Dinah’s cousin Claire cut her wrists.
Five days ago, Dinah found Claire’s diary and discovered why.
Three days ago, Dinah stopped crying and came up with a plan.
Two days ago, she ditched her piercings and bleached the black dye from her hair.
Yesterday, knee socks and uniform plaid became a predator’s camouflage.
Today, she’ll find the boy who broke Claire.
By tomorrow, he’ll wish he were dead.

Ever since I read the synopsis oh-so long ago, I've been aching to read this. The short and to the point phrasing makes the synopsis absolutely chilling, dark, and unbelievably intriguing, not to mention revenge stories are always amazing! 
I'm a bit torn up around the ending, so it's still a bit hard to write this review. I'm sort of a wreck right now!

The first few pages were absolutely amazing, but I started worrying that I may not love Premeditated as much as I'd hoped. No matter how realidtic it can make a character seem, I've always hated it when characters seemed flat and obsessed with only one goal, forcing the story to go on. 

But that didn't happen--instead I just sort of fell in love with Dinah's character and her heart. Premeditated focuses on the characters more than the plot, and I can't say I didn't love that! Seeing Dinah grow from hell bent on making Brooks pay to sympathizing and reluctantly starting to like him was one of my favorite parts. I always do love some internal conflict. 

Along with character development, the story also focuses on relationships, and not just romance. I'd been rooting from the start for Brooks and Dinah (and by start I mean when I first discovered this) and I was unbelievably excited to see that my ship was happening--though it wasn't mentioned much throughout the book. Their friendship seemed to be more important, Dinah struggling to find the Brooks in Claire's diary in the person in front of her, and Brooks starting to let down his walls. 
More than that, seeing how much Dinah cared for Claire was heartbreaking and heart warming all at once. It's a touching relationship that I couldn't help but love, but made everything so much more painful. 

I honestly can't say much about the plot since it'll pretty much ruin the entire thing, but I will say that the plot twist was fairly predictable, but it made everything so much more suspenseful!

Filled with suspense and a wide range of quirky and lovable characters, Premeditated is one of the books I've been anticipating all year--that managed to not disappoint me, which is actually pretty impressive!  The relationships are gorgeous and the development throughout the story just warms your heart. The suspense in the novel is brilliant and I was just blown away by the entire story.

Pages: 336

Genre: Thriller/Contemporary

Series: Standalone

Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers

Release Date: Oct 8, 2013
Rating: 4 stars

The Program by Suzanne Young

Goodreads Blurb

In Sloane’s world, true feelings are forbidden, teen suicide is an epidemic, and the only solution is The Program.
Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.
Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

Oh. My. Freaking. God. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. Oh my God. You guys. WHY ARE YOU HERE. LEAVE ME TO MOURN IN PEACE.
Oh. Right.
I have to write a review.
I am in an emotional crisis here, but I'll see what I can whip up. It's nowhere near the amazingness of this book though.

So I just have to point out that I was already tearing up in the first place. Young has a way of writing a beautiful yet completely horrible atmosphere and having us connect to some characters immediately--all the better for when she rips them away from us.  Oh God the feels guys! I can not tell you how absolutely heartbreaking and...and...ugh!

This world was so hopeless too. I was in the depths of despair at times and felt on top of the world at others. I can believe how the US would call suicide an epidemic, but I find it a bit stupid that they never realized that having their friends taken and returned as a blank state was what drove them to depression and that the government never decided to "research" this so called disease. So I guess it was a bit weak, but The Program and how it operated was truly...unbelievable. A third of our book is in The Program (YES, Sloane ends up in The Program!) and it was horrifying watching Sloane's memories slowly slip away...just one by one--and she never noticed.

The plot was the absolute best. We get a few flashbacks and in Sloane's "therapy sessions" she talks about such sweet memories--so when they repeat, it just..Breaks. Your. Heart. I'm not even kidding. I practically died in the last part of The Program.
I think the best about the plot was that we got to see it from before, during, and after The Program--it made everything so much better since there wasn't a typical "Where and who am I?" type of dystopian.
That's not to say there weren't twists though. Because there absolutely were and they absolutely killed me. Every. Damn. Time. Sometimes I was expecting something...but it still gutted me whenever it actually did happen.

And the romance. Oh my God. Too adorable. Too adorable. There was a small love triangle, but it's obvious who Sloane was going to pick--but it added a lot to the story, and I did love our other guy anyways. But James was the absolute best--he tried to always be there for her, but he was also a sarcastic jerk, but unbelievably sweet too. He was so...perfect for Sloane. And their love was just...ugh. THE FEELS. I absolutely adored the romance and how they were never really separated--talk about Romeo and Juliet!

The Program is an absolute to die for dystopian that basically pierced my heart with every sentence. I was completely shell shocked and completely heartbroken. This book actually gave me my first real book hangover and I couldn't read anything at all for 3 days after! (Well, I did, but it all paled in comparison...so forgive me, you poor books.) This is an absolutely, positively must read. Seriously. I will haunt y'all until you read it.

I will be here for you when you sink into despair at the end.

BECAUSE HOLY CRAP, THE END.

Pages: 408
Genre: Dystopian
Series: The Program #1
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Release Date: April 30, 2013
Rating: TEN FREAKING STARS FOREVER

This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

Goodreads Blurb

Making friends has never been Elise Dembowski’s strong suit. All throughout her life, she’s been the butt of every joke and the outsider in every conversation. When a final attempt at popularity fails, Elise nearly gives up. Then she stumbles upon a warehouse party where she meets Vicky, a girl in a band who accepts her; Char, a cute, yet mysterious disc jockey; Pippa, a carefree spirit from England; and most importantly, a love for DJing.

Honestly, going into this, I wasn't really sure I would love this. Yes, it sounded awesome and yes, it sounded like my kind of book. But I was in a giant book slump at the time and wasn't particularly loving anything I'd read. So of course This Song Will Save Your Life managed to break that funk!

The first chapter absolutely broke my heart and I swear there was something in my throat. Not only because I couldn't help but hurt for Elise, but also because...well. There's a scene in which Elise joins a group of friends for lunch and they...well they have all these inside stories, inside jokes and don't really bother to clue Elise in. And at the end of lunch? They do an inside thing and Elise, clueless, ends up being the one that picks up the trash. Literally. And honestly? This can almost perfectly reflect last year--and I was one of those friends. One of those that neglected this girl who sat with us at lunch. (I don't think she was bullied, but I know she was avoided because...well, she was obnoxious and started rumors about herself. I'm not trying to justify myself, but now...I think she just wanted attention. Just. Like. Elise.)

So I can pretty much vouch that the voice in this story is real. Everything that happens? I'm sure it's been played out somewhere. It's heartbreaking, but something that you can't help but relate to.
Because you can relate to the story, or at least Elise. She's alone, she doesn't belong, and she feels outcasted, lost. And I'm sure everyone's felt that way one time or another. I have a core group of friends--but there are so many times when I felt like Elise, like no one understood me and never would. And I'll admit I've thought about suicide once in a while. And now...I'm getting personal. So on with the review!

It was easy to feel for her and easy to understand where she came from. I may not be playing her role in the story of my school, but I can't help but hurt for her and cry for her. She's such a real character and one that just hits close to home. She's annoying at times, you can't help but love her other times, and sometimes it's just a mix of both. And that's the beauty of her. She's so flawed and I'm almost a hundred percent sure that there's a bit of her in everyone.

And we got to see her grow as a character, as a person. We see her on her new adventure, her new life. It's uplifting and, once in a while, hilarious. We meet the people who help her along the way, and the ones who'll try to tear her down. And in the end, we get an ending that's just...perfect.

This Song Will Save Your Life is an absolute must read for anyone and everyone. Even if it doesn't sound like your book--you have to read it. Somehow Leila Sales manages to reach into you and twist your heart. It's just...one of those books everyone has to read.

Pages: 288

Genre: Contemporary

Series: Standalone

Publisher: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux

Release Date: Sep 17, 2013

Rating: 10/5 stars